Family will f*** you before a stranger will.
A STRANGER
I was in a bad situation because of my family members and their betrayal when a kind lady who could not help me sympathized with me and uttered those words to me. I have never forgotten them, and I never will. Despite not being able to help me, she gave me the best wisdom I have ever received from a total stranger. I could tell that she had been through something similar and retained some bitterness from her own trials. This is why she dropped that F-bomb.
This stranger told me a truth that I am now going to share with you, Gentle Reader. Blood is not thicker than water. In fact, the people who will do you the most harm in life are your own family members. As Seanan McGuire put it,
Blood is thicker than water, but family isn’t just about blood. Family is about faith, and loyalty, and who you love. If you don’t have those things, I don’t care what the blood says. You’re not family.
Trust in others is only as good as the virtue of those you trust. I have had friends who have been more family to me than my own family. I have had family members who were worse than any enemy I have encountered in life. What made them worse was my naivete about their true natures.
Your appraisal of others needs to be based upon their virtues as human beings. Good people do good. Bad people do bad. Being your kin does not change this fundamental truth. Never trust bad people. You can forgive them, and you should. But nothing says that you should ever trust them again.
I was never a fan of the primetime soap opera, Dallas. I don't even recall ever watching it. But I do remember the Ewing family was a bucket of snakes. This was the source of the drama in the series. It was a fictional show, but I have heard similar tales from real world families. In the UK and Europe, royalty was essentially what the Ewing family was in the States. Even today, you witness the treachery of these people.
Trust has to be earned. Once trust has been lost, it should never be given again. You will save yourself a lot of hurt in this life if you remember these two rules and always follow them.
As an epilogue, I was able to get out of my situation with the help of another family member who had a heart of gold. I will always be grateful to her. But I could no longer trust her when she told me to forget the two rules I just shared with you. She expected me to forget what had been done to me. I knew better. She said she didn't think she could help me again if I found myself in that same jam again. Then, she told me to get in that same jam again. I ignored her and remembered what the stranger told me. I have never been in that situation again. I intend to keep it that way.
