Charlie's Blog

7.21.2024

Men Don't Have Friends

No friend have I. I must live by myself alone; but I know well that God is nearer to me than others in my art, so I will walk fearlessly with Him.
LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN

I don't have any friends. This is a reality that I have only recently come to accept. This is not because I made a choice to not have friends. It comes from the fact that I bounce the ball in that direction, and it never comes bouncing back. At some point, you just let the ball drop from your hand.

I am not alone in this observation. Others have pointed out that men don't have friends. They will have their wives and girlfriends. They will have their families. That's it.

For men, interaction with other men happens on the job. The other arena would be a saloon somewhere. There used to be bowling leagues and fraternal organizations, but these are in steep decline. Then, there is church. Most men have lost interest in religion today, so this outlet for friendship is closed to them.

I think not having friends is natural for men. This isn't a recent phenomenon but goes back in history. Men are loners by nature. Men share activities like work which is when they talk. Otherwise, they remain alone. I do not expect this to change.

Drinking buddies are not friends. I used to think they were friends, but they aren't. They are just bad influences and a good reason to give up drinking.

My advice to men is to get used to keeping your own company. Have a relationship with God and a good woman. Beyond that, you just have contacts.