Charlie's Blog: Unpopular Opinions 2

7.16.2023

Unpopular Opinions 2

If someone isn't what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.
PAULO COELHO

I am back with the second edition of unpopular opinions. These are fun to write because I don't think about them much. You probably won't think about them much either.

1. People who smoke dope are dopes.

I have never smoked dope in my life. I truly believe that it is the gateway drug. I think communities and states that legalize weed are asking for problems as seen in Colorado and Oregon. As for Amsterdam, they want to outlaw marijuana again.

I do not believe marijuana does anything positive for anyone except give you an appetite for Dorito's which might help someone on chemo. The overwhelming negative is that smoking weed on a regular basis makes you profoundly stupid. This is why those Cheech & Chong movies are so funny. Stoners are dummies.

2. Thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail isn't worth it.

Hiking the AT only gives respectability to being homeless and unemployed for 3 to 6 months. It's not fun. You could die. And when you get it done, you get to brag about walking really far. Other than that, you get more enjoyment from a day hike without having to give up your day job. Don't ask the people who have completed the AT. Ask the people who quit the AT. You will get more honest answers from the quitters about what to expect.

3. The Andy Griffith Show was and is the best.

I despise Seinfeld. I find people are either Seinfeld fans or Andy Griffith fans. Are Andy Griffith watchers a better class of people? Absolutely. If you hate the AGS, I know to put you on my Bad Person list.

As for the show itself, it was only good when Don Knotts was on the program. They continued to make episodes after Knotts left, but those shows aren't worth watching. Andy got the top billing, but Don Knotts was the real star of the show.

There are other shows like Happy Days and Gomer Pyle, USMC. I don't really like those shows, and I don't watch them. I'd rather watch Andy and the gang in Mayberry. That show was something special.

4. Automatic dishwashers are junk.

I don't use dishwashers despite having them everyplace that I have lived. They don't clean the dishes. They do clean the dishes if you wash them before loading them in the dishwasher. Why not wash the dishes and put them on the rack? Ultimately, the automatic dishwasher has yet to be invented.

5. Boxers are the best underwear.

Briefs aka "tighty whiteys" are the worst underwear. I don't know the advantage of those things. They look awful. Boxer briefs are just really tight boxers that wear out rapidly in the crotch. That leaves boxers which are the best underwear. They take longer to wear out, and they look better than briefs. Boxers are classic.

6. Buttons are awesome and need to come back. Touchscreens are terrible.

Cars have touchscreens now which means you will be totally distracted changing the station on your car radio because you have to look at the screen to operate the thing. The only advantage of these screens is that it saves money for the automakers who don't like buttons anymore. Buttons are safer, morons!

The touchscreen thing is why I hate smartphones and iPads. I never had a BlackBerry, but I think it was the best smartphone ever made because of the keyboard. The buttons are why I love my flip phone. As for tablets, they are not real computers. Their biggest accessory is an attachable keyboard with buttons. Just get a laptop.

7. A polo shirt is just a T-shirt with a collar.

I wear a T-shirt and a button down overshirt. This is my standard uniform. Sometimes, I take off the overshirt and go with the T-shirt if the situation calls for it like washing dishes. Otherwise, I like having a collared shirt because it makes you look more like a grown up.

If the T-shirt and the overshirt mated, they would give birth to the polo shirt. It promises the best of both worlds but leaves you with the worst. It's too relaxed to be respectable, but it is not as comfortable as a T-shirt. Since the polo is worn by itself, you always feel underdressed. You could pair the polo with a button up like Steve Bannon, but this opens you to ridicule and derision.

I got rid of my polo shirts years ago. I have not missed them.

8. I despise Apple, all of their products, and their cult.

I grew up with Apple in high school. Being a liberal arts major, I favored the Apple stuff in comparison to the Microsoft based PCs. But I couldn't afford Apple products. Some things never change.

A friend of mine who was into gaming steered me away from Apple in the 90s. My engineering brother also recommended I not invest in Apple products. I bought a Compaq laptop which was frustrating at the beginning for me, but I came to love it after I adjusted to Microsoft Windows and CTRL+ALT+DEL. Needless to say, the advice to eschew Apple was solid. I watched the company go from some hippy outsiders to a cult of idiots.

I use an HP desktop. My wife uses a Chromebook. We use flip phones. We don't own Macs, iPhones, or iPads. If I had to buy a smartphone, it would be an Android device.

My top reason for hating Apple is economic. They charge too much for their shiny products. They lock you into your ecosystem. They brick your stuff and force you to upgrade to newer and expensive products you don't need. And the Apple customer base thinks this screw job is awesome. What idiots!

9. The Beatles were overrated. Nirvana, too.

I have never been a Beatles fan. I like a few of their songs, but I like the Stones more. I'd rather listen to Pet Sounds from the Beach Boys than Sgt. Pepper. I don't understand the appeal of this band. I can think of ten groups from the sixties who were better.

I also don't understand Nirvana. I like none of their songs. NONE.  The rest of the grunge acts out of Seattle were actually very good. The Foo Fighters are a better band than Nirvana. Ultimately, Nirvana was a sick individual who appealed to other sick individuals. I wonder how many people were inspired to kill themselves after Kurt Cobain blew his brains out. Why did so many people find his music appealing? There's no accounting for taste.

10. Gen X is a better generation than the Baby Boomers or the Millennials.

I am a member of Generation X which may bias my opinion here, but I think I am totally right on this one. The problem with Baby Boomers is they had it too good courtesy of their Great Depression/WWII survivor parents. Millennials also had it too good because their Baby Boomer parents let them stay at home and do whatever. Gen X got kicked out of the house during a lousy economy. Ironically, that forced hardship turned Gen X into a better class of generation. Gen Xers have more in common with their grandparents than their parents.

Gen X is middle aged now. I think we are doing pretty good all things considered. But Gen X is not righteous. The tough times did not inspire faith and optimism so much as cynicism and nihilism. We are a self-reliant bunch, but that's because we know that no one else is coming to save us.

Boomers are out of touch. They don't live in the Gen X world. Millennials entered our world and are a bunch of whiners. Their first brush with reality was more than they could bear.

That's ten unpopular opinions. I stop at ten because it is a nice round number. I'll have more in Unpopular Opinions 3 in 3D. Bring your special glasses.