Charlie's Blog: Pets



Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.

I know people who have grieved more over the pets they have lost than over the people they have lost. I am not one of those people. I love animals. For some odd reason, not eating meat has made me love them even more. I have owned pets, but I do not own any now. This is because I can't afford pets.

I can't say that I am for or against pet ownership. It is not so much the pet as the person. I think a seeing eye dog is good for a blind person. I despise the idiot boomers who bring their "emotional support animals" to the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. I wish I was making that up, but I have gone to Mass and seen people in the pews with dogs in their laps. It just boggles the mind.

I know an old lady in very poor health and little money. Yet, she adopted a blind dog from the animal shelter she cannot afford to feed or look after. Her family was not happy with this decision knowing that the animal's care would inevitably fall on them. And, it has. Without a doubt, the dog is a joy to its owner, but I think it is an injustice to the family and to the dog itself.

I despise the breed of dog known as the pit bull. Pit bull owners are the scum of humanity. The idiot who put me in the hospital is a pit bull owner. These dogs were bred to fight other dogs and will kill each other in the kennel long before they are let loose in the pit. As for people, pit bull attacks are common. One woman in my state was mauled so badly that she lost both arms. I believe that all pit bulls should be euthanized out of existence. As for pit bull owners, they deserve to be mauled and devoured by the monsters they own.

Pet hoarders are also despicable. I have heard many stories of cat ladies living in the worst filth. When they go in to force a clean up, they almost always find cat carcasses in the filth. That is a level of nastiness that I cannot comprehend.

I think pets are luxuries. This hit me when the apartment complex told me that I could have a pet if I was willing to pay a sizable deposit and an extra $100 a month to keep the animal. I thought this was highway robbery until I heard the horror stories of tenants who let their animals poop and pee all over the place with no effort to clean it up. The reality is they don't charge enough. Naturally, I knew a nice old lady there who struggled to make ends meet. She owned a dog.

I just keep my mouth shut when it comes to other people's pets. I think the vast majority of pet ownership is stupid. If you can afford your pet and be responsible with it, I am fine with that. But that is becoming harder and harder these days for people trying to afford the increasing cost of living. Pets are luxuries that most people can't afford now. If you can't feed your kids, don't buy a dog or a cat. By the way, it is estimated that it costs $150 to $300 per month to feed and care for a dog. You can do the math from there for additional dogs and annual costs and lifetime costs.

I reserve a special disdain for horse owners. Unless you are a cowboy tending cattle, you don't need a horse. Horses are in the same category as boats and airplanes as far as I am concerned. You are better off renting than owning.

I understand the love for pets. Pets don't cheat on you or lie to you or try to murder you except for those pit bulls. They love you unconditionally as long as they get fed. They will never judge you or criticize you. In many ways, pets are better than people. But they are not a substitute for people. Excessive love for animals is a mental illness in my book.

Finally, I don't believe pets go to Heaven when they die. I think they just die. If all animals went to Heaven, it would be Hell. The sentiment that all dogs go to Heaven is just nonsense. It would behoove one to care more about their own final destiny than to worry about Fido getting to chase cats and cars for eternity in the afterlife. When I hear someone bring up the question, I have to stifle the urge to call them out on this idiocy.

What do I do in the absence of pets? I pet the neighbor's dog when he scoots under the fence. I watch birds. I chase the rabbits out of my garden. None of this costs me anything. And I have made a trip or two to the animal shelter to pet a cat when I feel the urge. But I am not adopting a pet. And if some fool gives me a pet on some idiotic impulse, I will get rid of that animal. I am at the point in life where pets bring more pain than joy.