Charlie's Blog: Shave Your Head or Not?


Shave Your Head or Not?

Combovers are for losers.

I feel sorry for women who are losing their hair because of alopecia or cancer treatments. Society expects women to have a full head of hair. Fortunately for women, hair loss is a rare thing. For men, it is a common thing. 85% of men will experience some level of hair loss in their lives. For some guys, they may have some thinning or a receding hairline. For other guys, they lose it all until they have the infamous horseshoe that wraps around the skull. This loss of hair often brings with it a crisis for a lot of guys. They don't know how to deal with it.

The first response to male pattern baldness is denial. Guys will try to ignore what is happening up there. Eventually, it becomes obvious to them and to others that they are losing their hair. This creates a fork in the road which prompts the second response. Do you try to save what you have and/or try to disguise it? Or, do you own it? I will tell you what lies at the end of those two paths.


Pretty boys can't deal with male pattern baldness, so they will choose to fight it. The first and most obvious option is to go with some sort of topical remedy like Rogaine. I had a friend who went this route, and he complained of headaches as a side effect. I don't know if all men experience this. What I do know is that the results of using that stuff didn't do much for him. He had more hair with Rogaine than without it, but he was still visibly losing his hair.

The next vain attempt to deal with the baldness is to try some variation of a combover. Guys will grow their hair long and try to assemble a haystack over the bald areas. This sort of works until wind, rain, or a splash in the pool reveals the reality. This strategy always looks messy and desperate.

The third vain attempt is a rug strategy where you resort to using fake hair to augment the real hair that you have. It might be a spray at first that paints the scalp. There is a product that amounts to sprinkle hair that sticks to the bald spots. Then, there are toupees and wigs. When these inevitably fail, they provide a great deal of comedy for people. And when they don't fail, people can tell that your hair is fake. No one is being fooled but you.

The final and most desperate attempt is to have surgery. Don't do this. There are variations of hair transplantation and scalp reduction surgery. I had a coworker who tried this desperate measure with the doctor slicing out a row of his scalp from their rear to put in the front. That gash was painful and would not heal properly. Blood oozed out of the back of his head. I felt sorry for him because he had literally mutilated himself.

I don't think any of these strategies work. There is only one proper response to reality, and that is to face it like a man. This brings us to the second path which is ownership.


Inevitably, you are going to turn around on the pathetic path and go back to the fork in the road. This may happen when you are young or when you are older and have quit caring. But you are going to own that baldness. And when you do, you will find that you care about it more than other people do. They don't have a problem accepting your male pattern baldness. You have the problem.

Once you accept the reality of hair loss, your life will get better. Reality stings at first, but you get used to it. If you own it, you will survive it much better than if you deny it.

There are two ways to own your baldness. You can just let what remains to grow as it is. I call this simple ownership. This is when you rock the horseshoe or let the wispy remains hover over the bald spots. I see no dishonor in this. This tells me that these men have gotten over their vanity, but they don't care to become bad asses.

The second way is extreme ownership. This is when you take out some clippers or a razor and shave off what remains. This is a bold move. Many men don't have the confidence to pull this off. Yet, I think this extreme ownership is the best option.

There are advantages to being bald, but you can only enjoy them fully by shaving your head. Hair makes you look young. Balding makes you look old. A shaved head makes you look ageless. That is the first advantage. When I meet people, my age is a guessing game because I don't have any markers like gray hair or a receding hairline to indicate how old I am.

A second advantage to shaving your head is that you can dispense with a lot of hair care. You don't have to go to the barbershop anymore. You don't need to buy shampoo or hair gel. You don't need a comb or a hairbrush. Shaving your head takes time, but you get it back not tending your locks.

A third advantage is cleanliness. Your dandruff is gone. You never worry about lice. A shaved head is the most hygienic haircut that exists.

A fourth advantage is that it feels awesome. Having a shaved head is a plus during the summertime and places that have warm climates. Shaving your head is like turning on the air conditioner for your skull.

A fifth advantage is that a shaved head makes you look meaner and tougher. If you can't be a pretty boy, you should at least look like you will kick a pretty boy's ass. A shaved head is very masculine looking. It also sends the message of supreme self-confidence. Fortunately, we have celebrities and athletes who have gone with the extreme ownership and have made the shaved head an awesome look.

There are disadvantages to having a shaved head. The first one is that you might get a sunburn. But this would happen with any form of male pattern baldness. Wear a hat.

A second disadvantage is that your head may get cold in the winter resulting in a brain freeze. But this will happen with male pattern baldness. Wear a hat.

That brings us to a sixth and final advantage of shaving your head. Your hats will fit better. It is aggravating trying to get your hair underneath a hat, and it looks awful when you take the hat off. These issues vanish with a shaved head.

Now, there are issues some men have with shaving their heads. What if their skull is not elegantly shaped? The reality is that every man's skull is different. If you look at many famous baldies, you will notice that their skulls have weird shapes. Some even have scars. I recommend that you own that, too.

The other issue is with women. Some women don't like bald guys. They want a pretty boy. That is actually awesome for you because those women are usually vain whores that you are better off not dating. And I can say from personal experience that the women you lose over the hair thing will be more than made up by the women who absolutely dig a man who has the confidence of having a shaved head. When I had hair, I couldn't get a date. When I shaved my head, I couldn't beat women off with a stick. The point is that women are weird like that.


The best argument that I can give for shaving your head is to talk to guys who have already done it. Virtually all of them are happy with going down the path of extreme ownership and wish they had done it sooner. It is a liberating experience. This is because shaving your head frees you from vanity and self-consciousness. It is so awesome that some guys without male pattern baldness have tried it. It is a popular option which makes it easier to do now. The bottom line is that shaving your head turns a negative into a positive. If you're losing your hair, you may as well enjoy the full benefits of not having hair. Shave that melon and enjoy the new life.