I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.
OSCAR WILDE
I listen to other people all the time. Some of the advice has been good. Most of it has been bad. I have decided to chronicle the good advice and share it here.
1. Never buy Apple.
In the nineties, I decided that I needed to buy a computer in order to go on the internet which was a new thing back then. I had my heart set on an Apple Macintosh. My apartment mate at the time had one. I had used one in high school and decided that Apple was the way to go. Two people disabused me of that silly notion. The first was my younger brother who is an engineer who told me to get a PC. The second was my friend Brett from work who was a gamer who told me the same thing. Don't waste your money on an Apple.
Apple computers are popular among liberal arts types, but PCs are what a true nerd wants. I ended up buying a Compaq laptop that I used for mostly liberal arts types stuff, but I was very satisfied with that box. I used it for more than a decade. In that time, the Mac I was going to buy became obsolete. I got more value from my boring PC than I was ever going to get from a sexy Apple product.
Unfortunately, I forgot this lesson when I bought an iPod touch and an iPod nano. Apple bricked those devices for me in hopes of me upgrading. I defected from my brief fling with the Apple cult. I should have listened to that old but excellent advice. I have not made that mistake again.
I still use a flip phone, but I would choose Android over iPhone if I ever had to get a smartphone. We use Chromebooks and a desktop PC running Windows 7. Apple is forbidden in my household. I hate the company with a passion.
2. A man without a truck is like a man without a you know what.
Men do manly things, and most of those manly things require a pickup truck. I drove a truck in high school and loved it. Somewhere, I got bad advice and started driving cars. Finally, I got a truck again and will never go back to driving a car. Unfortunately, I don't know when I will go back to driving again. But that's another story.
A co-worker said the thing about the you know what, and he was absolutely correct. A man without a truck is close to worthless. Get a truck.
3. You don't need 4WD because you're never leaving the pavement.
This advice came from my friend Brett who told me to get a PC. He drove a small Nissan pickup truck with 2WD. I told him I wanted a pickup truck badly, and he told me to not waste my money on a 4 wheel drive because you're never leaving the pavement. He was right. I have 2WD and have never regretted not having 4WD. I felt this mostly at the gas pump as I got 2 miles more per gallon than I would have with the 4WD.
This advice taught me that you should equip yourself for your most common needs and not your biggest possible need. I know one day that someone will call me in a snowstorm with his Jeep mired in a mudpit upside down and ask to get pulled out. I will tell him to call a wrecker service or one of his Jeep buddies. This option is still cheaper than owning a 4WD vehicle that would just get stuck, too.
4. You look like an idiot in that hat.
This advice came from my wife. I think she said it in a nicer way to spare my feelings, but I don't have any feelings. By the way, she was absolutely correct.
The hat in question was one of those light colored panama hat fedoras that you would see Barney wear in his civilian attire on The Andy Griffith Show. Here is what that looked like:
Barney was probably able to pull it off, but I probably looked more like Otis the Drunk who wore a similar lid but grungier. I was trying to find a hat that wasn't a ball cap that you would wear with a suit. I am not a fedora guy. Instead, I went with a flat cap which is just a nicer version of a ball cap. Personally, I call it a flap jack like the pancake.
5. You can't turn a whore into a housewife.
The bar is a terrible place to find a life partner. Virtually all of the men at the bar told me this nugget of advice, and it is totally true. The best place to find a wife is at church which means that you need to go to church, too. A good wife is a religious wife. If she doesn't go to church, let her go.
6. Wherever you go, there you are.
This advice was like the last piece of advice on whores and housewives I have heard from various friends and co-workers. Moving away from your problems doesn't work because your biggest problem is yourself. I can't recall anyone solving a problem with a move or a relocation. I know I didn't.
7. It's just a big hole in the ground.
I had a chance to go see the Grand Canyon in person. I asked Brett what he thought I should do. Brett had seen the Grand Canyon in person. He said it was just a big hole in the ground. I have never seen the Grand Canyon in person, and I don't even care. This indifference also applies to the Eiffel Tower, the Great Pyramids, Machu Picchu, and other wonders of the world. You get a better view on a screen without the sweat and expense of getting there.
8. Crack an egg in it.
This advice came from Travis, a co-worker and a friend. I was telling him about eating ramen and how it was cheap but not filling. He told me the secret was to crack an egg in it while you were cooking it. The hot soup would poach the egg and give it some filling protein. From that point on, I cracked an egg in my ramen.
When I switched to a plant based diet, I switched from the egg to frozen peas for that protein punch. My wife deserves the credit for that substitution. You can also add tofu and other vegetables. I combine ramen and lentil soup for the same effect.
9. Get that watch.
For decades, I wore the Timex Ironman digital watch. That watch was overkill for me as I rarely used any of the additional features. But it gave me the time, a stopwatch, and a countdown timer that I used. I don't think I ever used the split timer.
My dissatisfaction with the watch came in Maryland in 2016. There was the seasonal time change, and I went to my watch to make the adjustment and could not make it. This was because the plastic button was gummed up with grime from the job. I used my pocket knife to whittle off the outside of that plastic button to get to the metal pusher underneath to change the time. I resolved then and there to find a better watch.
I found that better watch on the wrist of a Marine who was also a co-worker. The watch was the Casio F-91W. He didn't tell me to get it verbally, but its presence on his wrist told me all I needed to know. It was a cheap watch, but I liked that it had those metal pushers instead of the plastic buttons. I did some googling and discovered the value of this watch. (This particular watch is a favorite of military personnel in basic training who buy it on the fly from the exchange. The watch switches from basic time to military time with a push of a button.) I went to Walmart and got one the next day.
Needless to say, that watch changed my life of telling time. I have bought more Casio digital watches, and I am loyal to the brand now. I don't have any animosity towards the Timex Ironman, but I am not an athlete. I like my nerd watches especially the cheap ones.
10. Get a Chemex.
This advice came from my brother-in-law who is a coffee snob. The Chemex is a glass jar with a funnel at the top and takes heavy filter paper. He said it made the coffee taste better, and I agree. The Chemex makes better tasting coffee than my old Mister Coffee which I decluttered soon thereafter.
I think coffee machines are disgusting. This would be the Mister Coffee as well as those K-Cup devices. I heard they breed bacteria. The Chemex is not a machine, so there's nothing disgusting about it. It is essentially a glass jar. It takes longer to make a pot with the Chemex, but it is worth the extra time and effort. I don't think I will ever go back to the Mister Coffee.
11. Cut a cigar in half.
I don't smoke, but I knew a coworker who liked to smoke cigarillos from the convenience store. These are small cigars that he would cut in half with a pen knife to make them shorter. He said you should never relight a cigar and smoke it because it ruins the flavor. By cutting the cigarillos in half, he had a better chance of smoking a fresh cigar. He also had the same philosophy on his sandwich which he cut into four pieces and would eat throughout the day.
The lesson for me was to not hesitate to cut things in half. For instance, I will pause a podcast in the middle and finish the rest later. Otherwise, I fall asleep and miss the second half. I also cut my sandwich into four pieces though I usually eat the whole thing. I don't binge watch TV shows or binge read books. I take small bites and spread it out. I find this practice increases the enjoyment.
That's it for good advice from other people. I might have more tips in the future if I ever remember them. I might even get more good advice between now and then. I will pass it along when I remember it or receive it.
