How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.
MARCUS AURELIUS
The
most valuable life skill is developing the ability to cut bad people out of your life. This reduces the harm these people cause, but it does not eliminate the harm they have done. You may not go back to those people in the world, but you do go back to them in your mind. Additionally, you may have been harmed by a total stranger who cares nothing for what he has done to you and lives as if they are guilty of nothing. This can be infuriating leading to fantasies of revenge. You want to even the score. This is when you need the second most valuable life skill which is learning to let it go.
Letting it go is not the same as "forgive and forget." You can only forgive and forget when the person who has harmed you expresses remorse for their crimes and sins and asks for forgiveness. I have had people apologize to me for things, and it feels really good to forgive them and forget about it. That's the way it is supposed to be. But it's not the way it is.
Most people who harm you don't care. They are cold and sociopathic. You will never hear them apologize or ask for your forgiveness. Sometimes, when they are caught, they might give an insincere apology. I have gotten a lot of those. The worse thing you can do is let them get away with that. This is cheap forgiveness which is a trait of Protestants who believe God is in the cheap forgiveness business. He isn't.
You have to accept that people who harm you are not going to try and make amends. They go through life doing hit-and-runs, and you didn't even get the license plate number. That's just the way it is. Life isn't fair. I know this from vast personal experience. I just choose to let it go. Move on with your life and quit tripping over what is behind you.
Life is not fair, but God is just. You may have the desire for revenge, but revenge should never be your business. As the Good Book says,
Revenge not yourselves, my dearly beloved; but give place unto wrath, for it is written: Revenge is mine, I will repay, saith the Lord. But if thy enemy be hungry, give him to eat; if he thirst, give him to drink. For, doing this, thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head.
ROMANS 12:19-20 DOUAY-RHEIMS
The reason we leave revenge in God's hands is because God is good at it. Nothing you can do to your enemy will ever match what God can and will do to that person. Either that person will repent and be forgiven which is awesome. Or, that person will not repent and go to eternal damnation. There is also the temporal punishment due which may be paid in Purgatory. Purgatory is the same as Hell except it has an exit door going to Heaven. This is why it is better to pay your debts here instead of there.
The way you pay your own debts is to suffer what these people have done to you without taking revenge. We are all guilty of something. We forget this as we beg mercy for our sins but justice for everyone else's sins. You can demand mercy, or you can demand justice. You can't have it both ways. The measure of mercy you show to others is what God will show to you.
It can be hard to let it go, but it is the smart thing to do. Most people who seek revenge ruin their lives in the process in ways far worse than the original offense. You will also find that you get nothing back that you lost.
God fixes everything in the end. We are called to be patient until then. No one gets away with anything. This includes you. Just practice patience, meekness, kindness, and mercy. If you do this, things will go well for you, Gentle Reader. You will have no regrets at the end of life.
