Charlie's Blog: Unpopular Opinions 5 (Super Size Edition)

9.10.2023

Unpopular Opinions 5 (Super Size Edition)

I don't care what you think unless it is about me.
KURT COBAIN

Once again, I am here to air unpopular opinions that are probably more popular than I realize. I don't do polls on the C-Blog or use comboxes, so I don't know. But these unpopular opinions do get read. I think people enjoy getting ticked off. With that mind, I am serving a double portion with this edition. On with the show.

1. Classification of people into categories is stupid.

I find the categories of introvert and extrovert to be useful in describing people. That is as far as it goes for me. If it isn't binary in form, I don't care. This would be something like the four temperaments, the alpha/beta/delta male thing, the Myers-Briggs personality test, astrology, and on and on. The ugly truth is that there are as many categories as there are people in the world. As such, these categories are worthless for knowing anything about anyone.

2. Air popper popcorn is the best.

I've tried all the methods for making popcorn. Stove top popcorn is pretty good until you scorch the bottom of the pan. Those dome globe oil poppers are too oily. Microwave popcorn is either undercooked or something that came out of an ashtray. That leaves the air popper. Popcorn comes out perfect from that thing. It is worth the money to get one. And you can season the final product to your specifications.

3. Fitness trackers are not accurate.

I do not use the FitBit, the smartwatch, or any kind of pedometer when I walk. I just time myself with a Casio digital watch. The reason I don't use these fitness trackers is because they are not accurate. You discover this when you wear two or more at the same time. They can be as different from each other as 400 steps. One guy said that his Apple Watch counted steps while he was asleep. I think this makes the information worthless.

Defenders of these gadgets will claim they just want a rough estimate of their step counts. Nevermind their obsessive-compulsive disorder over getting in those exact number of steps each day. I already have my rough estimate. It's called a watch. To hell with those fitness trackers.

4. Sudoku is a terrible puzzle.

I have played sudoku. It is pleasant to play on the easy levels. When the levels become hard, sudoku drives you to insanity.

I do puzzles and games for my brain injury, and I used to think harder puzzles were better for my TBI. The reality is that I do dumb stuff in my daily life that deals not with the complex but the elementary. It's like a Harvard trained doctor who amputates the wrong leg. He doesn't need to go back to medical school. He needs a Sharpie marker to mark the right leg. (My eye doctor did this before operating on my eyes. He put a harsh mark over the eye he was going to work on.)

Instead of playing sudoku or crossword puzzles, I do word finds which are incredibly boring and easy puzzles. This forces me to pay attention which is my issue. Most mistakes happen when people stop paying attention to the boring details.

5. Mechanical pencils are better than wooden pencils.

I have used both, and I prefer clicking the mechanical pencil to get more lead than putting a sharpener to the wooden pencil. Plus, the mechanical pencil stays the same length. It is torture writing with one of those pencil stubs.

6. Home speakers are awful.

I have never owned one of those Alexa things. You might as well live in a glass house naked with no curtains. I know people want to live like the Jetsons, but I am not one of those people. I am with the Flintstones. I don't want my appliances spying on me or talking back to me.

7. Alcohol is the devil's urine.

I do not drink alcohol. I have gone back and forth on this issue, and I am back to being a Baptist on drinking even though I am Roman Catholic. Jordan Peterson is right. What good ever came from drinking? When I want to be social, I drink strong coffee. It isn't worth talking to people who don't like coffee.

8. Ice cream cups are better than ice cream cones.

I don't eat ice cream except the non-dairy kind. When I do, I always eat it in a bowl or cup with a spoon. I never eat it from a cone. Ice cream cones are just invitations to sticky hands, arms, shirts, pants, etc. And if you like the taste of the cone itself, you can just crumble it into the cup or bowl. The world would be a better place without ice cream cones.

9. Eat a sandwich with a knife and a fork.

I am a convert on this issue. I will use my hands to eat a sandwich on the go, but I find it more pleasant to use a knife and a fork at a table to eat a sandwich. There is less mess and crumbs. My wife loves me a little bit more since I started doing this.

10. Armchair traveling beats the real thing.

My old man told me once that he preferred watching NASCAR on television than going to the track itself. Likewise, I would rather watch people traveling to exotic places on YouTube than going there in person. Before YouTube, I liked reading travel books and still like them now. I have traveled the world from the comfort of my chair at home. The only downside to armchair traveling is that you can't indulge the vanity of taking selfies in front of the Eiffel Tower and posting them to social media.

11. Memento is a terrible movie.

Somewhere in this film, there is a good story. Unfortunately, Christopher Nolan buried it in a gimmick. Using non-linear storytelling, Nolan tells a fascinating but ultimately unsatisfying story because you never know what happened even after you've watched it. If I need a puzzle, I will get out a Rubik's Cube.

Nolan was an idiot on this one. He would revisit this idiocy in Inception and Tenet. Those movies are horrible, too.

12. The Rolling Stones were better than the Beatles.

This one will get me a rainstorm of fire and brimstone from the Beatles fans, but I stop whatever I am doing to listen to a Stones hit. I can't say the same for a Beatles song. The reason the Stones were so good is because they tapped into blues music which is the best type of rock and roll that exists. You can never go wrong with the blues.

As for the greatest rock band ever, this would be Led Zeppelin. But that would be a popular opinion. We gotta stick with the unpopular opinions here.

13. Klean Kanteen is better than Hydro Flask.

Yes, I know. It's a water bottle. I would drink out of either one if I was thirsty. But Klean Kanteen was there before Hydro Flask. The only thing Hydro Flask brought to the water bottle game was a logo and slick marketing. I hate marketing which is why I prefer Klean Kanteen. I own four of those KK bottles. I own nothing from Hydro Flask.

14. New Balance is better than Nike.

I have worn both brands, and I have decided on the clear winner. This would be New Balance. I have been satisfied with every pair of New Balances I have owned. I cannot say the same for Nike. Nike is a gimmick and some slick marketing masquerading as a quality shoe.

15. Casio is better than Timex.

Timex is better looking, but Casio is cheap and works. I have worn both, and I like Casio watches better. I own four Casio watches now that I use depending upon the situation. I can own four because they cost so little.

16. Boonie hats are the best.

It is easy to get away with wearing a baseball cap. It is not so easy to do the same with a fedora or a cowboy hat. For some reason, you feel more ridiculous when you wear a serious hat. Enter the boonie hat.

The boonie hat is a floppy brimmed hat that looks a bit ridiculous. The irony is that you don't feel ridiculous wearing it. I can't say the same for any other brimmed hat. The boonie hat is a totally utilitarian hat meant to kept the sun off of you and the rain out of your face. I think boonie hats are the best hats ever made. They are the perfect hat for working in the yard, the garden, or going for walks or long hikes. I can't recommend them enough.

17. Chopsticks are garbage. Use a fork or a spoon.

I have used chopsticks before until it hit me one day that this was stupid. I hate chopsticks. Why do I bother using these worthless things? That's easy. People use those chopsticks to look hip and sophisticated in some multicultural way. The reality is that forks and spoons are the superior implements for eating. I am not going to apologize for this.

18. Dunkin' Donuts is better than Starbucks.

Starbucks is overpriced hot water filtered through an ashtray. I go blue collar when I drink coffee away from home and head to Dunkin' Donuts. Starbucks is a lifestyle brand masquerading as coffee. It isn't my lifestyle, so I can tell it like it is. Dunkin' is cheaper and tastes better. I also like the atmosphere at the Dunk. Starbucks is too serious for me.

19. A quiet evening at home beats a night on the town.

Because of drunk drivers and the criminal element, I don't go out at night. I don't go to the movie theater or any restaurants. I definitely don't go to taverns or bars. My idea of a good time is dinner at home and a DVD with the wife. This is our weekly date night, and we love it. (We get our DVDs used from the thrift store for $1.50 apiece.)

20. Quality of life is better than quantity of life.

I walk daily and eat a plant based diet, but I don't delude myself with fantasies of living to be 100. You can die at any moment, and I came close to doing that already. At that moment, I didn't think about all my good health habits.

I focus on quality of life instead of quantity of life. Eating right and exercising makes me feel good today. I don't overdo it because then you feel bad instead of good. If I wake up one day older, that's OK. Each day could be the last. Make that day a good day.

You are probably ticked off good and hard now. Or, maybe not. Perhaps it is a mixed bag of love and hate. Whatever it is, thanks for reading. I do get the view counts, and they are always good.

UPDATE: A reader shares that he thinks the Whirley Pop is a great popcorn popper. It cooks most of the popcorn and doesn't burn the corn. The air popper that I use doesn't burn the corn, but it leaves a lot of unpopped kernels.