Charlie's Blog: Mea Culpa


Mea Culpa

I confess to almighty God
and to you, my brothers and sisters,
that I have greatly sinned,
in my thoughts and in my words,
in what I have done and in what I have failed to do,
through my fault, through my fault,
through my most grievous fault; 
therefore I ask blessed Mary ever-Virgin,
all the Angels and Saints,
and you, my brothers and sisters,
to pray for me to the Lord our God.

Regular visitors to my blog will notice that a decade of my writing has vanished. This was not accidental. I have spent the last decade as a proud atheist and a loudmouthed libertarian. I have posted the vilest garbage and sought to offend as many people as possible in the electronic pages of this weblog. The impulse for this sin came from an anger towards God and my fellow man, and it was my aim to at least make others feel the same anger that I felt. Then, God did something I was not expecting. He was good to me. He was good to me at a point in my life when I deserved it least. This has left me with a deep feeling of regret and remorse.

I changed my thinking about things two years ago, and I officially became a Roman Catholic a year ago. My blog has reflected this change in thinking, but the effect has been an attempt to turn a filthy public restroom into a sanctuary. Since my blog has always been about me, I didn't care. My only rule has been to be honest. But the knowledge of all the vile things I have written over the years burns in my conscience. My most popular posts have been things I would never write now. The result is that all of that bad writing has been a weight upon me. People send me emails telling me how much they agree with some garbage that I wrote, and I wince because I absolutely despise the writing now.

I am a sinner. I have sinned. I confess to you, my readers, that I have greatly sinned in the words that I have posted here. I ask for God's forgiveness and your forgiveness for my many transgressions. Please forgive me.

I do not think it is possible to be too extreme in your devotion to Our Lord and Our Lady, and I commit this blog to a greater devotion to them. I was a terrible person, and this made me a terrible writer. It is my hope that as God makes me a better person that He will make me a better writer. I am removing the old and putting on the new. And if you came to this blog in search of the old, I am sorry to disappoint you. Trust me, it wasn't worth reading anyway. But I hope that what you find here now will be better and more satisfying and will fill your mind and soul with what is true, good, and beautiful.