The Show Horse, The Race Horse, And The Work Horse

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

W.C. FIELDS

I am not an equestrian or a horse lover, but I am fond of horse and mule analogies. I'm not sure where I picked up this habit, but I did spend 7 months working for a feed merchant in a small town with a prominent horse industry. One of my best analogies is that of the stallion and the mule. You can ride a stallion to death. It will run until its heart explodes. You can't do that with a mule. The mule will do good work for you, but it will not allow itself to be worked to death or mistreated. I used that analogy many times on the job as I watched management work the stallions to death which was the stallions deciding to quit while the rest of us mules stayed and quietly labored for years. I lost count of those stallions.

Outside of work, I like to use the analogy of the show horse, the race horse, and the work horse. I see a lot of blue collar men who are confused about their identities and can't decide what they are and want to be in their lives. I know what they should be, but they don't listen to me much like the stallions didn't listen to the mules.

The show horse is the working man who decides he needs to spend money on fancy cars, boats, RV campers, motorcycles, and whatever else his credit limit will afford him. For them, the optics are what matter. It doesn't matter that most of these toys go unused. What matters is being seen in possession of working class status symbols. Naturally, this delights the bankers and finance company professionals. Later, it delights the repo man.

The race horse is the working man who sees himself as some sort of competitive athlete. These are the guys working on their golf games as the bank forecloses on their homes. These are the guys who compete in bass fishing tournaments that don't even yield enough prize money for them to justify the purchase of those expensive bass boats. At some point, the fantasy fades for them as they let the golf clubs rust and the fishing rods collect dust as they watch the real thing on ESPN.

The work horse is the working man who sees himself as a working man. Instead of buying a Harley-Davidson motorcycle, he buys a lawn mower and starts a mowing and landscaping business in the hours he has when he gets off work. Instead of buying a Jeep to flip over in the woods, he buys a boring pickup truck, so he can haul tools, supplies, and refuse.

I identify as a work horse. My brain damage has greatly killed my capacity for work, but it has not killed my love for work. I have worked with a lot of show horses and race horses in my time. But I have known some work horses who became my heroes. The irony is that the only difference between the three horses is self-delusion. The show horses and the race horses work but end up broke. The work horses are secure because they don't blow money on their fantasy selves.

Nobody wants to be what they are. This is why you have this 3 horse thing. I think being a work horse is the best thing you could ever be in life. It must be some trick of the Devil that turned working men into such self-hating individuals. They trade humility for foolishness. This message will certainly fall on deaf ears, but it is the most important lesson I have learned from all my years working. Embrace who you are. Know thyself.

You can be a show horse, a race horse, or a work horse. You can't be all three of them. Reality won't allow it. Let hard work be your sport and hobby. Be the work horse.

Sherlock Holmes Versus Columbo

You know, sir, it’s a funny thing. All my life I kept running into smart people. I don’t just mean smart like you and the people in this house. You know what I mean. In school, there were lots of smarter kids. And when I first joined the force, sir, they had some very clever people there. And I could tell right away that it wasn’t gonna be easy making detective as long as they were around. But I figured, if I worked harder than they did, put in more time, read the books, kept my eyes open, maybe I could make it happen. And I did. And I really love my work, sir.

COLUMBO

I love mysteries and detective stories. I have loved them ever since I was in elementary school reading Encyclopedia Brown books. I would graduate to the Hardy Boys and The Three Investigators. As an adult, I like Agatha Christie stories. The king of fictional detectives is Sherlock Holmes, but my favorite detective is Lt. Columbo. I have a real attachment to that character.

Before my accident that injured my brain, I was Sherlock Holmes. Problems would come up at work, and I would solve them very rapidly. The solutions were genius such that I amazed myself. My co-workers would recognize the genius but zip their lips. That was probably to the good because genius begets pride which begets stupidity.

My TBI ended my Sherlock Holmes abilities. I solve problems, but it takes much longer now. It takes me awhile to get to the conclusion, but I also don't jump to conclusions. That was a persistent flaw in the Sherlock Holmes days of my life. I didn't always get it right.

After my accident, I discovered Columbo. I think this discovery was a product of Divine Providence. God was telling me that I was dumber but also smarter as a consequence of my accident. My pride in my intelligence was gone and replaced with humility and patience. Sherlock Holmes had become Columbo.

Sherlock Holmes solves crimes through sheer intelligence. He is a genius. His conclusions come quickly and are rarely wrong. Columbo doesn't have this level of genius. He solves the crime in a similar fashion to Holmes, but he takes a longer time to do it. His virtue is not genius but persistence.

Was Columbo a genius? The best episode of the series answers this question for me. In The Bye-Bye Sky High IQ Murder Case, Columbo matches wits with a literal genius who tests him with a mental puzzle to test Columbo's IQ. Columbo does solve the puzzle but only later in the episode after thinking over it for a long time. He also solves the crime. The reality is that Columbo isn't a genius but an average guy who doesn't give up until he has the answer. Persistence trumps intellect.

Episode review: Columbo The Bye-Bye Sky High IQ Murder Case

https://columbophile.com/2019/10/27/episode-review-columbo-the-bye-bye-sky-high-iq-murder-case/

Columbo is my hero. He may be fictional, but I try to emulate his humility and his persistence. I find Sherlock Holmes to be a bit pompous and not worth emulating at all. Columbo is my detective. I will never pretend to be a genius in my life again. I will take my time and never give up. That is the way.

As a postscript, I love this line Columbo utters in my favorite episode. “Here I’ve been talking with the most intelligent people in the world and I never even noticed." That is unintimidation. It is not that Columbo thinks he is smarter than these geniuses. He knows they are not smarter than him. Don't let smart people dazzle you with their intelligence. We all have stories of geniuses who were also complete idiots. Don't fall for the hype. Be a blue collar detective and keep at it.

I'm working. In fact, I can’t remember a time I’m never working.

COLUMBO

Led Zeppelin Versus AC/DC

Most people, when they progress, they progress up their own asses.

MALCOLM YOUNG

A decade ago, I would have told you that the greatest rock band ever was Led Zeppelin. I like the Beatles, the Stones, and the Who. Those were good bands in their day. Led Zeppelin took it to the next level. Then, I read an interview with Bret Michaels from Poison who said that AC/DC was the greatest rock band ever. This answer shocked me because I expected him to say Led Zeppelin. Yet, I have given it much thought, and I agree with Bret Michaels. I have changed my mind, and I now believe that AC/DC was the greatest rock band ever.

Led Zeppelin started off as a heavy band, but they progressed in their songwriting and sound. I like those songs very much, but they don't have the same quality as an AC/DC song. Here is Malcolm Young on Zep:

Their first couple of albums, they were a good band. After that, man, phew. If you want to get laid back, put on the headphones and smoke a joint, okay. But as far as getting things happening and having a party, that's boring shit. We try to keep it exciting all the time. We've never put anything different on a record, just guitars and drums. We've never expanded. Other bands are playing disco or synthesizers, or that Bowie stuff, which is disco with a little blues. We could do that, but it's got nothing to do with rock 'n' roll.

AC/DC has a certain energy that Zeppelin lacks. If you ever need motivation to get moving, put on an AC/DC album. Here's Malcolm on Led Zeppelin live:

I’ve seen that band live. They were on for three hours. For two-and-a-half hours, they bored the audience. Then at the end, they pull out old rock’n’roll numbers to get the crowd movin’. That’s sick. They’re supposed to be the most excitin’ rock’n’roll band in the world.

What killed Led Zeppelin as a rock band? The answer is progress. They aspired to higher things but gutted what made them great. AC/DC did the opposite. They stuck to the same formula which delivered again and again long after Zeppelin hung it up.

AC/DC is a potent example of the value of keeping to the basics. I love all things basic. Anything else strays into pretentiousness. AC/DC weren't artists. They were rock and rollers.

There are two other bands that I will mention that have that same AC/DC vibe. One is Rhino Bucket. The other is Airbourne. They stick to the basics just like AC/DC.

AC/DC is the greatest rock band ever. That is just my opinion, but I don't think I am alone in that opinion. I know of no other band that consistently delivered like AC/DC.