Should Dale, Jr. leave DEI?

The answer to that question is absolutely yes for chrissakes. DEI is holding Dale back, and they need Jr. more than Jr. needs them. Without some kind of ownership stake, Dale should walk. Richard Childress should snatch up Mr. Earnhardt and pull the "3" out of retirement.

Sunday's race shows there are some big problems at DEI. Two blown engines is not good. Maybe I'm reading too much into that, but I've always believed that Dale, Jr. was a good racer without a quality car. He should have had a championship by now, but it has eluded him.

I don't know where Dale will go when this season ends, but it behooves him to explore his options.

In other NASCAR bloviating, Mark Martin should seriously consider making a full run this season for the Cup. I don't know who he's kidding, but that old man can still race. He should make another effort to win it all.


The Libertarian Party

I have given a lot of thought to poliical involvement, and my position has "evolved" which is a political euphemism for flip-flopping. Basically, what is a libertarian to do?

The Libertarian Party is the nation's largest third party. Yet, it has no real chance of ever winning an election beyond dog catcher. It claims to be the party of principle, but the result is that LPers spend a lot of time arguing amongst themselves concerning their platform. Recently, the LP simplified its platform which resulted in a lot of claims of selling out. Seriously, who needs this shit?

The LP is a joke. The irony is that if these folks were to abandon this party and join with others in one of the major parties their impact would be dramatic. The reality is that the Libertarian Party has actually served to advance statism by marginalizing the opponents of tyranny. You can call this "principle" and "integrity," but I call it shitheadedness. I'm not satisfied with a fantasy of libertopia. I want to realize it in my lifetime.

Much of my change of mind has come about because of the recent death of Milton Friedman and the tributes to him. I did not agree with all of Friedman's positions, but I have to admit that he was very influential in advancing liberty. The reason he was so influential is because he did not marginalize himself by being an LPer. He was a philosophical libertarian but a registered Republican. I intend to do the same.

Rep. Ron Paul also gives me a lot to hope for as he has retained his principles while still being a Republican. His presidential campaign is a good thing. I don't know how far he will get, but I am hoping he can spur debate on issues that matter to me.

The Republican Party is the lesser of two evils, and that is because no matter what they believe in tax cuts which are always good. I can never be a Democrat. Democrats are fundamentally opposed to cutting taxes and will never warrant the vote of a libertarian. NEVER.

My goal is to retain my principles while becoming as involved in the process as I possibly can. Critics will say that this can't be done, but I beg to differ. Ron Paul shows that you can do both.

The LP is a party of isolation. It was a tactical mistake by the lovers of liberty. As such, libertarians now hold less influence than homosexuals, fundamentalists, and tree huggers. Yet, we are considered the "fringe."

I think the best way to go for me and other libertarians is to become members of the Republican Liberty Caucus, support candidates that represent freedom, and vote in primaries and general elections. In addition, I think libertarians can form alliances with other groups such as the ACLU or the NRA on areas of common interest. I think if all libertarians, objectivists, etc. did this, then you would see far less government.

Random Thoughts on Various Subjects

1. Kevin Harvick edged out Mark Martin to win the Daytona 500. Despite the loss, I think Martin would be an idiot to leave racing. I think the old man has a lot left in him.

2. The IDIOT OF THE WEEK award has to go to Britney Spears. I don't think she was stupid to shave her head or get those tats, but she surely has shit for brains to destroy her life with drugs and alcohol with the likes of the Skank Pack--Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, and Lindsay Lohan. Britney needs to sober up, clean up, hire a personal trainer, and get back to working. In short, she needs to quit being a stupid bitch.

In a sidenote, K-Fed is looking like the responsible one. Britney should take him back. I never thought I would write that, but there it is.

3. Dick Cheney is rattling the sword against Iran. The only problem is that the tip of that sword was broken off in the Iraq clusterfuck. The vice president would be advised to just shut his mouth for the time being.

4. A Wal-Mart in Irmo may not be built because there's some sort of rare species of weevil found there. I shit you not. I read it in this week's Free Times. Progress halted for the sake of a bug.

5. YouTube has been hit by a bunch of copyright bullshit, so some of the vids on the blog here may be inoperable. I apologize, but there's nothing I can do about it. Blame Viacom.

PABLO PICASSO, The Old Guitar Player

DVD-Superman Returns

This movie blows. Kevin Spacey is great as Lex Luthor, but he was underutilized. I got this one for the kids, and the kids could care less about this one.

The most interesting superhero flicks to come out in the last few years would have to be the X-Men and Spider-Man franchises. But if I had to put my money on the best superhero flick ever, it would be Christian Bale in Batman Begins.

In Superman Returns, Superman comes back from sabbatical at the dead world of Krypton. That journey would have made a great superhero flick. But it was only mnetioned. Anyway. . .

Superman returns to earth to see that Lois has married, had a kid which is Superman's, and still smokes cigarettes. Lois' new guy is actually a really swell guy. He's just like Superman except without the superpowers.

Ultimately, Superman is just boring as a hero. Virtual omnipotence is just two dimensional. The most interesting parts of the movie are when Superman is getting his ass kicked. Personally, I'd like to put on some kryptonite boxing gloves and knock the shit out of the fucker. But that's just me.

Don't waste your time watching this one.

Impinging on Liberties

We have a long tradition in this country of impinging on the liberties of business owners in order to protect their workers from unreasonable safety risks.--The State newspaper in an editorial from Feb. 18's paper.

You can read the rest here.

This was almost certainly written by Brad Warthen, a notorious statist shithead.

The War on Drugs

Once upon a time, there was this guy named. . .oh, George will do.

George was a pothead. He loved nothing more than to smoke a bowlful of reefer of each day. The consequences of those choices were that he hurt the society at large by laughing a lot and consuming large quantities of Lay's potato chips. He did not even have to steal to support his drug habit since he was growing his own down in the basement with some special lights, a can of carbon dioxide, and some Miracle-Gro. However, he was known to steal some Dorito's from a friend's house, but the friend declined to press charges.

One day, George gets busted. The cops raid his place, find the weed, and lock his society menacing ass up in jail. While in jail, George rolls a couple of fatties from some weed he bought off some guards and smokes them.

What are we to make of this story? First of all, why is this shit illegal if no one is getting hurt? Secondly, how can this war be won when even the prisoners of that war are still able to use?

The War on Drugs is a fucking joke. It can't be won. If you can't keep drugs out of prison, you certainly won't keep them out of our very porous borders. In fact, a couple of drug sniffing dogs are certain to find some contraband on Capitol Hill. Even during Prohibition, the House of Representatives had a stash of liquor.

If you want to see the future of the drug war, look no further than Prohibition. That was a joke. Violent crime increased dramatically as gangsters took over the hooch business. Some people stopped drinking, but the overall toll to society was enough to make the people repeal this law. It was a failed experiment, but the US is still committed to repeating it.

So, why are dugs illegal anyway? Much of it comes from the fact that Mexcians, jazz musicians, and black people liked to use them. It was merely a clever way to harass these people that upstanding whitefolk didn't much like in the first place. Toss in hippies, young people, weird people, rock stars, etc., and there you have it. These are the "bad people," so it is justified to give them a hard time over their choice of drugs while these meat eating types sit back sipping on their scotch-and-sodas.

Drugs don't hurt anybody but the people using them. Drug opponents will make the argument that drugs lead to other crime such as theft. Well, that may be true. But I recommend locking those people up for theft instead. This seems way more just. We could take this logic and declare that food should be free because hunger drives people to commit crimes. But the reality is that such an action would be a greater crime than the theft by hungry people. The same is true with drugs.

This country spends billions investigating, arresting, prosecuting, incarcerating, and treating people for drugs in an effort that is almost a total failure. Yet, many of these addicts could hold down jobs and still function in society. Don't believe this? William Rehnquist did it for seven years while sitting on the SCOTUS. Rush Limbaugh did it. Ray Charles did it for 13 years, and he never missed a show or a recording session because of it.

Don't get me wrong. I hate drugs. I have never touched them and never will. I think drugs are stupid but not nearly as stupid as the efforts put forth to try to get people to stop using them. The best thing to do is let these people either kill themselves or straighten themselves out. This is a problem that will fix itself at a price we can all afford--FREE.

My position on drugs is simple. Legalize them. And when I mean legalize them, I don't mean decriminalize them and replace prisons with state funded treatment centers as many on the Left propose. Studies indicate that treatment, AA, and NA are no more effective than if people clean up on their own. About 5% of addicts voluntarily choose to quit each year. This is the same amount of success that AA has.

The other thing I oppose is regulating and taxing the hell out of drugs. This amounts to a softer form of Prohibition. People seem to think this is a good way to soak these addicts and feed off their addictions much like they do with alcohol and tobacco and gasoline. This is really theft on a grand scale to support the public's real addiction to government. Fuck these fools.

Finally, people will say that we need to have compassion on those poor addicts. I find this shit amazing. Thse fuckups voluntarily choose to destroy their lives with this shit. And many of them will voluntarily choose to straighten up. Tough love and soft love are both ineffective in changing these people, and why should we feel guilty about letting people reap the consequences of their own actions?

But none of this is about protecting society or the individual. The bottom line is that people simply want to control the lifestyle choices of other people. This shit applies to other victimless crimes such as smoking, prostitution, porn, gambling, driving automobiles that burn fossil fuels,etc. Such blatant tyranny can't be tolerated, so people dress it all up with some tenuous argument that these behaviors hurt others or that we have a duty to help these people and keep them from hurting themselves. As we see, almost anything can be the subject of legislation and incarceration. It is goddamn sickening to see people do this shit, and nothing makes me want to stomp the shit out of someone more than their inability to mind their own fucking business.

That's what it all boils down to. MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS. If some guy wants to fire up some hash in a pipe, leave that fucker alone and mind your own business. What is so hard about that? What is he doing to you to make your life so awful? And how do you justify running other people's lives when they aren't doing anything to you?

We are a nation of busybodies, and it is time that people got their noses out of our bedrooms, our living rooms, and off our dinner plates. If you want to lock up some people, lock up these idiots who can't mind their own fucking business. This probably means you.

Minority Rights

As a Southerner and a white hetero man, this is an issue I have to deal with. So, let me explain my issue as succinctly as I can.

When it comes to the government, I believe in equal treatment of all individuals. I decry discrimination against blacks, women, latinos, homosexuals, etc.

When it comes to individuals, I believe people have the right to be as racist and bigoted as much as they want including denying employment, goods, and services to people they hate. However, they do not have the right to deny other people their human rights which are life, liberty, and property.

How does this work out? Well, I oppose affirmative action, reparations for slavery, the notion of wrongful termination, etc. when it comes to private individuals. OTOH, I think the policy banning gays from the military was wrong as hell. I despise racial profiling, and I agree that many drivers are stopped for no other crime than driving while black. This shit is wrong.

I believe in the individual which as Ayn Rand pointed out is the smallest minority there is. If you protect individual rights, you automatically protect minority rights. And if this means the rights of some former Klansman to discriminate in his hiring practices, then so be it. I can believe in his right to be a racist and in his property rights without also believing in his bigotry.

Because minority groups have strayed from a firm foundation of individual rights, they are lead to hopeless contradictions, strife, and misery. This is why a million dollar ballplayer like Barry Bonds can still be mad as hell over his "mistreatment." I wish I was mistreated that way. And why does he feel that he is the victim of injustice? Because of racial collectivism. His individual rights are still much intact. He has suffered no injustice. Yet, he is a victim. I wish I was victimized like that.

The sad fact is that this mentality permeates much of Black America and has seeped into the women's rights movement, the gay rights movement, etc. And the unfortunate results are these groups are now the force of tyranny in this country with their speech codes, denial of property rights, etc. They believe that two wrongs make a right, but they don't.

Much of this stupidity is due to the work of activist organizations that exploit the anger and ignorance of their members. From Al Sharpton to Act Up to NOW, you have these people making a pretty good living and public career from the discontent of their "victims." Naturally, they have to stir up shit to keep their jobs, and this is what they do.

On the flip side, I'm not into the guilt thing. You're not going to make me feel guilty over shit that I simply did not do. My ancestors undoubtedly did some bad shit, but that was them. I didn't do it, and even if I did some of that shit today, that would still be between one individual and another.

The problem is that minorities have embraced Nietzsche's will to power bullshit. This is why you always hear the word "empowerment." They justify their own tyranny. But among minorities, this is a minority view. For instance, very few women contribute to and support NOW or actually give a shit about it. Unlike many feminists, there are women who want to be mothers, wives, and homemakers. This is not all of them, but if they choose this lifestyle, why should they be vilified? And why is it a bad thing?

The great threat to these organizations is contentment. So, they agitate. Liberty creates peace. By nature, people are largely indifferent to those things that are not immediately causing them harm. In fact, people will actually put up with lots and lots of shit. The income tax is a great example.

So, why is there so much minority strife? Because of these agitators. Now, I'm not singling them out. They are merely doing what the politicians do with their endless doomsday scenarios or what have you. In effect, these groups represent a shadow government lacking only in government power to force their agenda. But with a few contributions to the right people, they achieve the same end.

Tyranny is tyranny. Your victimhood doesn't give you the right to make victims of other people. But as it stands, this type of shit is what tears up the rest of the world in conflict. It actually makes people become racists or homophobes or misogynists when they normally wouldn't give a shit. If you keep labelling people this way and keep berating them, then they will embrace this shit simply because you have painted them in a corner. The result is a backlash. It is this cycle that fuels groups like al-Qaeda or the tribal conflicts in Africa. It is collectivism, and it is insidious.

I don't believe in color blindness, the brotherhood of man, or any of that other shit. This is just another collective. I believe in the individual, and this makes me surprisingly tolerant. I don't feel threatened by another person's differences. I accept these differences because they are what make him or her unique. I'm not on the power trip. I'm for the individual esp. those who are a bit odd.

In way of a conclusion, I need to go do some laundry now and go to the grocery store.

Beyond Left and Right

There is rarely a day that goes by where I am not labelled as a liberal or a conservative because of whatever opinion I am expressing at the moment. The reality is that I am neither, but people can't seem to think beyond their left/right categories.

I am a libertarian. The essentials of being a libertarian is that you believe in human rights which are only three--life, liberty, and property. This means we believe in social freedom as well as economic freedom. The Left does not believe in economic freedom while the Right does not believe in social freedom.

You really can't have social freedom without economic freedom and vice versa. For instance, conservatives will declare they believe in free trade but do everything they can to put restrictions on the trade of drugs, alcohol, pornography, prostitution, or whatever offends them. Liberals will argue that they believe in social freedom, but then they do everything they can to regulate what you eat, how you run your business, or what have you. The result is that the Left will defend your right to have anal sex or smoke reefer but will not let you buy a Big Mac or a pack of Marlboros because these benefit "corporate interests."

But ultimately the Left and the Right are joined at the hip because they want to force their values and choices upon you. They may differ on those values, but they have the same aim which is to control how you live, what you own, and what you buy. They don't believe in freedom at all except as a "necessary" evil in service to their ends. This is how you get the mixed economy thinking of both sides. Capitalism is to be tolerated but only to the extent that it produces something meaningful to each side. For the Right, this means the virtues of hard work and thrift. For the Left, this means a tax base which they can exploit and redistribute to the "more deserving."

I believe freedom is an end in itself and not as a means to some other end. Anything else is tyranny. This is why some self-proclaimed libertarians like Neal Boortz are really conservatives because they buy into the means to an end argument. I don't.

I believe a free society is the only just society there is or ever can be. I base this upon both principles outlined by the Enlightenment and by the abundant examples of history and economics. And my arguments are simple. Freedom will not lead to social chaos or social control by greedy capitalists. These are merely the specious arguments meant to intimidate the populace into turning over their freedom and money to tyrants who then proceed to enlarge their control and influence in what Nietzsche called the will to power. Power, religion, and morality all serve to feed the egoes of fiends. Their main tools of influence are fear and guilt. Now, you people might understand why I love being a debunking scoundrel.

The Left and the Right can't help but be self-contradicting. I merely point out the contradictions. Ultimately, these people represent the twin pillars of tyranny in our time--communism and fascism. They will deny this association because it would be bad PR to be associated with Hitler and Stalin. But philosophically they are no different. Like Stalin, the Left wants to control your economic freedom and eliminate the capitalist scum. Like Hitler, the Right wants to punish the undesirables that weaken our society--homos, wetbacks, blacks, and liberals.

Amongst this backdrop, we find the centrist. Now, centrists believe rather stupidly that truth lies somewhere in the middle of extremes like some kind of political equivalent of the golden mean. They think that "moderation" is the answer to the "complex" problems we face. If everybody could get just get together, cross the aisle, and join hands in a rousing chorus of kum-bay-yah, then all of our problems would be solved. Ironically, I have people who paint me as a centrist as well. Folks, I am not a centrist. In fact, I see centrists as being a greater threat to liberty than either Left or Right. Those centrist horse traders are actually the ones who get things done, and when government advances, liberty dies.

Left, Right, and Center are all joined together in a fundamental belief that freedom is the cause of all problems. Seriously. Every crisis from 9/11 to Enron ends in a call for less freedom and more government control. Yet, government's track record at accomplishing any level of what they claim to aim for is dismal. The result is that law abiding people are punished and made to live in prison while the real thieves and crooks get more and more freedom. Those thieves and crooks are the politicians and their friends and contributors and recipients of government largesse. Their victims are people like you and me who want to work, earn a living, and enjoy the good things that life has to offer and which we've earned.

There is only one just order and that is the way of freedom. We know this both in principle and practice. Read the front page of any newspaper in light of what I just told you, and it all becomes plain as day. Politicians are merely playing off of you--the suckers. We despise them because they have no principles, yet when do we ever vote for principled people? That is because the American people collude in their own imprisonment. They want freedom for themselves but not for anyone else. But I have found and history shows that the best way to protect your own freedom is to also protect and advance the freedom of others.

I recognize that people want to put me in the camp of their enemy because this makes an easier argument for them. But, seriously, move beyond this. I am not a leftist, a right winger, or a centrist. I am a classical liberal or what we know in America today as a libertarian. Take the time to learn and appreciate what my position is even if you disagree with it. This makes a lot more sense than trying to put me in a camp for which you have decades of arguments to draw upon. But that requires an examination of your fundamental thesis that freedom is a bad thing. For some reason, no one really wants to address this fundamental issue. and I think I know why. It is because it is an accurate summation of your thinking, and you don't want people to know this.

Now, I recognize that people will say I engage in much of the same thing by calling my opponents commies and fascists. But those labels fit. Everyone claims to be a defender of freedom, so saying you believe in some amount of freedom makes no difference to me. The Constitution of the Former Soviet Union was a rousing document detailing freedoms of speech, assembly, and worship. You can find a copy of it here:

Constitution of the USSR

Here's my favorite section:

Rights, Freedoms, and Duties

Like I said, everyone believes in freedom. But here's the key:

Enjoyment by citizens of their rights and freedoms must not be to the detriment of the interests of society or the state. . .

There you have it. What the State giveth the State taketh away. Remember, Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, or what have you were all well-intentioned people who had what they considered to be your best interests at heart. Freedom and liberty in their mouths is simply rhetoric and propaganda. Even "heroes" like Che Guevara are actually murderers who killed people for nothing more than having a differing opinion. You won't see that shit in The Motorcycle Diaries. But folks like Bob Redford seem to have no problem overlooking this shit. I wonder what he would think of a similar treatment of the early life of Hitler.

PRINT-Rats by Robert Sullivan

Sullivan's Rats is a book with everything in it. It is naturalism, history, biology, and social commentary all rolled up into one. It is everything you wanted to know (and didn't) about the furry creatures that seemed permanently attached to human society.

If there is one lesson to take from Rats, it is this. CLEAN UP YOUR GARBAGE!! You can trap rats, poison rats, and even shoot them marksman style as some exterminators are forced to do. But the key to controlling rats is to control their food supply which is human garbage esp. in big cities like New York and Chicago.

Another thing you learn about rats is that killing them for a living is a very lucrative profession. Combined with termites and roaches, you will never lack for work or a living. But there is one cardinal rule of the pest control profession--CONFIDENTIALITY. You can't let your client list get out. Every business and restaurant wants to keep all this shit on the down low. Makes sense considering that people don't want to eat at some rat infested restaurant even if it is one of those deluxe five star eateries that cost $200 a plate.

Rats are also very interesting creatures. They fuck like mad including dead females and other males. They can gnaw through concrete. They can swim. And they are also territorial. They don't venture far from a regular food source.

I can't put down everything you will glean from this book, but you will enjoy reading it. And you certainly won't find it on Oprah's list.


Jason Statham plays a hitman named Chev Chelios who has been poisoned with a substance known simply as the "Beijing shit" which works slowly on his body by inhibiting adrenaline receptors. In order to stave off death, save his dipshit girlfriend, and enact revenge on the ones who killed him, Chelios must keep the adrenaline pumping in this rollercoaster ride of a movie with a plot resembling a videogame such as Grand Theft Auto. Just like a videogame, Chelios must power up constantly with such things as cocaine, Red Bull, nasal spray, a shot of epinepherine, and sex. Needless to say, the movie is breathless in its pace but maintains a sharp sense of humor. My favorite scene has to be when Chelios fucks his girlfriend in public in order to stay alive.

I highly recommend this one.


For those out of the loop, here is what you need to know. Andrew Luster is the heir to the Max Factor fortune and a serial rapist. He is a rich sick fuck who skipped out on bail back in 2003 and went down to Mexico. Luster is now sitting in prison serving a 124 year prison sentence thanks to the efforts of Duane Chapman better known as Dog the Bounty Hunter.

Dog and his family went into Mexico to get Luster, but bounty hunting is against the law in Mexico. Now, Mexico is extraditing Dog back to their country where he will almost certainly be tried and convicted and probably be slaughtered in one of those Mexican hellhole prisons. That's a grim fate for someone who I consider to be a hero. Mexico did nothing to send a surfing and partying Luster back to the USA, but now the Feds are bound and determined to give the Mexicans their guy. It just boggles the mind.

You can support the Dog by going here.

The 4 Ways to Spend Money by Milton Friedman

Random Thoughts on Various Subjects

1. A lot of cheaters got busted down at Daytona this week. The cheating is neither a surprise nor a scandal. NASCAR is a sport started by bootleggers, so cheating in stock car racing has a long tradition. I doubt there is a single driver in the field that hasn't benefitted from an illegal edge at one time or another.

NASCAR has taken the step to crack down on this shit. But the whole point of racing is to gain an advantage. Why is a bit of wedge in the rear legal while an extra inch of spoiler isn't? The rules are a bit arbitrary. But they are what they are, and a bunch of teams will just have to pay the price this weekend.

2. Britney Spears has shaved her head. Seriously.

3. The IDIOT OF THE WEEK award goes to Scottie Pippen who after two years of retirement wants to return to the NBA and make a comeback at age 41. What a dumbass. He must have discovered roids.

4. I wish Fidel Castro would just die already.

Charlie's NASCAR Shit List

I'm very happy that Tony Stewart won the Budweiser Shootout Saturday night. (I had to listen to the finish on the radio because I was wrangled into going to Wal-Mart by a NASCAR hating woman.)

We are on the cusp of a new season, and here is a shit list of the drivers I hope get slammed into the wall.


Jimmie is a pretty good fellow, but he had the misfortune to drive for that cocksucker Jeff Gordon. He makes the list. Sorry 'bout it.


I almost liked Ryan Newman at one time. I'm glad I got over that because he has turned out to be a real cocksucker. Suck a dick, Ryan.


Kyle Busch is a smart ass little piece of shit that ought to have the snot beat out of him. His only hope is that he is outdone by his cocksucking older brother, Kurt.


Kurt Busch did get the snot beat out of him by Jimmy Spencer, and he deserved it. Kurt Busch is a cocksucker of the first order. It pleases me immensely to see him knocked out of a race.

And numero uno on the shit list. . . .


I have hated this fucker forever. I really can't stand when he whines. And I am not alone in this as you can hear the boos drowning out his victory celebrations at every race he wins. Trash litters the track when he does a burnout. Fuck Jeff Gordon. I hope he has a terrible run this year.

Random Thoughts on Various Subjects

1. They should rename CNN the Anna Nicole Network. They are milking this story hard.

I must say that I was amused when Anna Nicole said in an old interview that she wasn't a gold digger. Please. . . She married a decrepit old man who probably couldn't even get it up. And I highly doubt she would have married him if it weren't for all that money.

The other interesting thing is the paternity battle. Why are all these guys coming out of the woodwork to claim their fatherhood of Anna's baby? Money, of course. By being the parent of a sole heir, that money is yours. Men can be gold diggers, too.

Finally, there is ample fertilizer here for the conspiracy theorists. First, her son dies from an accidental overdose. Now, it may come out that ANS died the same way leaving the baby as the heir. Things that make you go hmmmmm....

2. This is not a healthy person:

3. I feel a certain amount of sympathy towards Scooter Libby. The guy was hung out to dry by his boss, Dick Cheney. It is my personal opinion that Cheney put Libby up to making the leak in the Plame case in order to win a pissing match with the CIA. Then, when the heat was on, Cheney let Libby take the hit for him. What a scoundrel. This is something straight out of Darth Vader's playbook. And while I'm at it, I think Rove and Bush are just as slimy in this affair.

Libby only needs a presidential pardon, but he won't get one. Scooter is the fall guy. This is what happens in politics. It makes me sick. But then again, I'm sure Scooter is no saint either. He should have told Dick to shove it and resigned. Sorry 'bout it.

4. Steve Jobs tells the record companies to abandon DRM. They won't because it spells their doom. The movie industry is next.

You can't make money from free music unless you're selling iPods like Jobs does. Their best bet is to make the music as cheap as possible. But like the movie industry with high ticket prices, they won't wake up and smell the coffee. It will be their undoing.

5. Pelosi got caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Welcome to your new job, Ms. Speaker.

The Speaker of the House should fly commercial. Period.

6. The IDIOT OF THE WEEK award goes to New York state Senator Carl Kruger for proposing legislation to ban iPods and similar gadgets from crosswalks in New York. Apparently, he is concerned for the "public's safety." Give me a frigging break.

Fuck Georgia

I despise the state of Georgia. Last year, I got my one and only speeding ticket in Georgia. I really hate those fuckers.

If you are not aware of this, let me tell you now that you should not speed in Georgia. Unlike here in SC, Georgia law enforcement enforces traffic laws vigorously as a means of revenue enhancement. In my particular case, I was caught in a speed trap with cops on a bridge with a radar gun with others in the cars. They were lining us up one after another beside the road. This operation was designed for maximum ticket writing. They were shooting fish in a barrel. It was an assembly line of government fistfuckery.

Now, many of you are probably not sympathetic to my plight. I was breaking the law. But let's face facts, our highways are filled with people breaking the law. In fact, if you obey the law, people will whizz by you all day. I don't have any figures, but I think I can safely say it is a small minority that actually goes the speed limit. In addition, the cops are hypocrites on this. I routinely see them whizzing by at ten to fifteen miles over the limit, and they are not in pursuit of anyone.

My position on speed limits is that they should be abolished. This may sound nutty on the face of it, but people are already breaking the speed limit with no ill effects. The reality is that one's speed is automatically regulated by the amount of traffic on the road. On an empty road, I think I should be able to go fast. On a crowded road, I can't go fast even if I tried. I don't know why they call it "rush hour." There's no rushing at all. Back to the story. . .

I had to go to traffic court in Augusta to dispose of this matter. I went early to make sure I would be on time. Naturally, I was at the wrong address. It was listed on the ticket, but the cop who wrote the ticket had really sloppy penmanship. Most cops try to be neat with their tickets because they are legal documents. In Georgia, they write them too fast to bother with neatness. Those fuckers have a quota to meet.

I had to go to the other side of town to get to the right courtroom. Naturally, I did some speeding. Take that, you bastards.

Traffic court was packed, and I thought I would be there all day. A Richmond County deputy was acting as bailiff, and he informed us all with a sardonic laugh and a shit eating grin that we could feel good knowing that we are helping to fill the potholes around Augusta. I could sense that everyone in the room wanted to scoop out his eyeballs, knock out his teeth, and skullfuck him to death. But maybe that was just me.

But things went faster than I thought. I paid with my Visa card after negotiating the prosecutor down on my charge. And that was that.

Fuck Georgia. Fuck the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets. Fuck the Georgia Bulldogs. I wish Sherman could come back from the dead and burn that place down again.

Killer Astronauts

I'm watching the Nowak drama with some amusement. For those living under a rock, a female astronaut attempted murder on a romantic rival. The chick went nuts, and I know something about nutty chicks.

The talking heads on CNN are making a deal about the NASA program as if it were to blame for this nuttiness. C'mon, folks. The astronaut angle is merely conincidental. The real story is an old one--jealousy. Love will make you do some crazy shit.

I've observed that many women tend to consider men like pieces of property to be competed for. They are often not angry at their men for straying but at the women who took their men. I find this amazing.

Nowak has ruined her life. It's a shame because she seemed to have everything going for her.

How to Shit in a Public Restroom

Every so often, this blog pretends to give you information that is important for improving the quality of your life. This is one of those moments.

It is almost impossible to make it through your life without having at some point to take a dump in a public facility. This fills most people with dread because of what economists call the "tragedy of the commons." In other words, because public toilets are public, people do not care for them the way they would for their own private bathrooms. Seriously, would you spray diarrhea all over the john at home? I don't think so.

Because of the tragedy of the commons, you can reliably count on a public toilet to be splattered with piss and/or shit. This is because human beings are filthy animals with no regard for their fellow humans. But all of this is academic compared to your very real need to drop a deuce. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

The goal is to make due with such a piss and shit splattered environment. Some people will suggest using an "ass gasket" which is either provided for you in a case behind the toilet or crudely fashioned from layered toilet paper. This is a waste of time and a bit of overkill. I have a better way.

The first thing to remember about a public toilet seat is that it is cleaner than your average kitchen countertop. This is because people prepare foods in their kitchen that contain salmonella and e.coli. Like it or not, you would be better off licking a toilet seat than licking a cutting board or kitchen counter. I don't recommend this, but you should put out of your mind the idea that you are going to get some kind of infectious disease from a public toilet seat by planting your ass there.

The second thing to remember is that urine is sterile. Unlike shit, you are not going to catch anything from someone else's piss. With these facts in mind, let us proceed to the shitting.

For your first step, you want to grab the handicapped stall. Unlike parking spaces, there is no rule that says you can't use the big stall. I like the extra space, and I think you will, too. But if you can't grab a handicapped stall, you can still follow the remaining steps.

The second step is to flush the toilet. Before using a public toilet, you need to make sure it works. I have encountered some that were plugged up from a previous deposit or didn't flush at all. By flushing the toilet, you demonstrate that it is working and will save a dreaded possible runover that could wet your paints with shitty water.

The third step is to make sure there is toilet paper available. You don't want to do your business and find out that you can't complete the paperwork. This really sucks, and it could happen to you. I recommend grabbing some napkins or other paper and keep it handy just in case. This will depend on whether the crapper is in a restaurant or a convenience store or what have you. Use your ingenuity on this.

The fourth step is to take some paper (either toilet paper or hand towels) to the sink, wet it liberally, and fill it with that nifty antibacterial handsoap that just about every place has. Take this and clean the toilet seat with it. Be sure to do the underside as well since there is often piss and shit there as well. This may be gross, but it beats sitting in piss and shit or shitting yourself.

The fifth step is to drop paper all over the floor in front of the toilet. This will soak up the piss puddle that always forms in front of a toilet from guys with bad aims and short peckers.

The sixth step is to dry the seat with more paper and ascend the throne. Do your business and give a courtesy flush. Flush often while wiping your ass. This will prevent clogging up the toilet. I usually do three wipes per flush. This is a good ratio.

And there you have it. You have successfully took a dump in a public restroom on a toilet seat that in all likelihood was cleaner than the one you have at home.

Super Bowl Weekend Recap

I feel asleep during the Super Bowl. It doesn't matter because I didn't have a dog in this hunt. It's good to see Manning get a ring and not be a Dan Marino.

In other football news, I am pleased that Brett Favre has decided to return for another season to break some records. IMHO, he is the finest fellow to ever play that position. The thing I most admire is his work ethic. The guy always shows up. Of course, I've probably jinxed him now, and he'll get a fluke injury in the preseason.

On Saturday night, I went to Monster Jam at the Colonial Center in Columbia. I've never seen such a high concentration of rednecks in one building. It was like a sea of hunter camouflage in the stands. The show was reasonably good, but there's only so much you can do in such a small space. Nevertheless, the crowd was huge. Monster trucks are big business, and 90% of them were there to see Gravedigger. (I'll have some pics in a future post when Tiff sends them to me.)

Turn or Burn

I know this nice lady who invites me to church often. I've always declined, and I tell her that I am an atheist. Well, things became a little nasty the last time she talked to me because she informed me that I am going to hell for my atheism. I'm quaking in my boots, bitch.

Folks, I'm a nice atheist. I can appreciate differing viewpoints even religious ones. I do not appreciate when those viewpoints are wedded to force. Threats of hellfire are a form of force. Personally, I consider them one step removed from outright persecution, torture, and execution.

The sick fucks of the Spanish Inquisition justified their crimes against Jews, Muslims, homosexuals, etc. as their desperate attempts to save these poor fools from God's eternal wrath for their iniquity and heresies. Compared to hellfire and damnation, sodomy with a hot poker seems perfectly justified.

Concern for another's soul is really nothing more than a veiled attempt to control other people and to feel the power surge that comes from vindication. When someone converts to our viewpoint, we feel like we are winning. Nietzsche called this the will to power. I call it tyranny.

Here's a shout out to the religious out there. With all sincerity, I implore you to take your religion and shove it up your ass. And if any of you nutjobs think you are going to convert me at the point of a gun or knife, I am telling you now that I will blow your brains out. I am a rattlesnake, and you will get bitten.

As an atheist, I think the world would be a better place without religion and other superstitions. But unlike atheists like Stalin or Mao, I will never force my atheism on other people. I believe people should be free to accept any creed they choose so long as it does not infringe on the rights of others. I think this is a rational viewpoint and a just one. But many religious types believe that their dogma justifies criminal activity from bombing abortion clinics to flying commercial jetliners into buildings. The ends justify the means, and if it is God's end, those means can be horrible indeed.

There is no God or hell. I refuse to live my life in fear of your deity or your church. I treat others the way I wish to be treated, and I think this is the essence of morality. And I am a nice guy but to a point. I'm not letting anybody run me over including nice churchgoing ladies. If this makes me an asshole, well, sorry 'bout it.

DVD-Gene Simmons: Speaking in Tongues

For those living under a rock, Gene Simmons is the bassist and sometimes lead singer of the rock group KISS. Combining music with makeup and savvy marketing, Simmons has turned KISS into a business juggernaut.

As a kid, I used to be fascinated with Gene Simmons. Then, I grew up and got into more adult music like Nirvana and Bob Dylan. But it was later that I become fascinated with Mr. Simmons again after hearing an interview with him. Gene has a unique view of life that I find refreshing and agreeable. He is a hero of mine.

Speaking in Tongues is a DVD about Gene's unique worldview. Unfortunately, it sucks. The production is bad, and there's not enough Gene. The sage advice Simmons gives can be captured in these two statements:

1. Never get married.

2. Work 7 days a week.

He also has some other advice that he lives by but is not captured in the DVD:

3. Never use drugs or drink alcohol.

All in all, this vid could have been way better. I would recommend saving your money and getting the DVD's of his reality show Family Jewels.

Code Brown

I was listening to the radio the other day as some experts discussed the nursing shortage here in SC and across the nation. A lot of reasons were given as to the reasons for the nursing shortage from pay rates to demographics to what have you. But they really danced around the key issue why many choose not to go into nursing. The reason people choose not to go into nursing is because they have to clean up shit all day long.

Among nurses, it is called a "code brown." This is a euphemism for some crusty old decrepit fart who has shit the bed and is now laying in it. To an 18-year-old female considering a career in nursing, the prospect of a lifetime of this kind of work is just too much. They might change their minds when they hit 40, have already tended to children and family members, and now need a job because they lost their good looks and can no longer hook a man to support their sorry fat asses. But when you are young and good looking, cleaning dirty asses is not very appealling.

There is no shortage of doctors, EMT's, paramedics, respiratory therapists, pharmacists, X-Ray techs, etc. But there is almost always an acute shortage of nurses. The difference between those professions and nursing is the code brown. Some will argue that RN's are exempt from cleaning up shit, but this simply isn't true much the same way that a manager at McDonald's is not exempt from flipping burgers. If you work as a nurse, you will have to clean up shit. Sorry 'bout it.

It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it.