Love is Bullshit

I do not believe in love. Why you may ask? I'll tell you why.
 
Love is insanity. It will make you do things a normal person would not. Love will make you drain a retirement account and give it to a woman to redo her home. Then, it leaves you with bitterness as she promptly dumps you when the 401(k) has been tapped.
 
Love will make a battered woman return to her husband time and time again even though he has beaten her so bad that he has ruptured both her eardrums.
 
Love will also make you step all over a good thing, viz. Rhett Butler in Gone with the Wind. All I can say is that Scarlett had shit for brains when it came to ol' Rhett.
 
I must also admit that I have been in love, and I have been just as stupid as these folks. Throw in the terrible pain, and I can tell you that I never ever want to be in love ever again. I hate it.
 
Love is bullshit. It lies. It tells you that your beloved is better than all the others in the world. And nothing is more tragic than when love is not returned but exploited. I have seen with my own eyes heartless men and women who think nothing of taking advantage of someone in this awful state.
 
When you come out of love, you see how stupid you were. You realize the flaws in the person that you loved, and there was no way they could ever be what you expected them to be. And if you been fucked over pretty hard, you will see how utterly complicit you were in the exploitation.
 
What is my advice? Don't ever fall in love. If you find yourself getting into this situation, get out of it as quickly as you can. Save yourself the pain. 9 times out of 10, it won't be worth it.
 
Some of you folks will decry my cynicism on this. You will cite examples of great love. Well, here's a great example of love--Paul and Linda McCartney. That is a true and inspiring story of love there. Now, fast forward to Paul and Heather McCartney. I know way more Paul and Heathers than Paul and Lindas. I bet you do, too.
 
When love ends, there is a lot of anger. There is a feeling of betrayal. Sometimes this is warranted. Other times it isn't. This is when love turns destructive and violent. This is when cars get stolen and rammed through the front of a store. (Those who know me will have a good laugh about this.) But this anger comes from a shattered fantasy. So, let me help you out if you are coming out of love. You will be happy again.
 
I do not believe in love, but I do believe in happiness. You can't find that happiness in another person. It's really unfair to think otherwise. I know I can't make anyone's dreams come true, and they certainly can't do that for me. But I can pursue my own dreams and do my own thing. This is where I have found happiness.
 
I believe that love and happiness are incompatible. To this day, I have felt more positive emotions regarding one night stands than I have any relationship I have been in. Sex without love is a wonderful thing. Don't let anyone tell you any differently.
 
 

The Straight Edge

I have a cousin who is an addict. His preferred drugs are alcohol and cocaine, and he has stolen cars, merchandise, and money to support those habits. He is incarcerated now. He had been out of prison for two weeks before he relapsed and flushed his life back down the toilet. And so it goes.
 
I support the legalization of all drugs, but it surprises people to learn that I have never used them myself. Except for Budweiser and Jim Beam, I have never used an illegal drug in my life. That includes marijuana, a drug I consider far more benign than alcohol.
 
I don't drink anymore. I never made a habit of it, but I admit to getting wasted with friends on a few ocassions. As it stands now, I won't even have a beer even if someone else is buying. Like it or not, alcohol is a drug.
 
I'm not into drugs. I think the drug war is a waste of time, but that doesn't mean I don't despise drugs. Drugs destroy lives. They are a waste of existence. And there are fewer people I detest more than alcoholics and drug addicts. I support legalization only because I think it will hasten their own self-inflicted deaths.
 
I live on what I call the "straight edge" which is a term I take from a punk movement of the same name. Basically, I believe in a substance free lifestyle. My heroes are drug free guys like Gene Simmons, Ted Nugent, and Henry Rollins. These guys show that you can be cool, have fun, and still be clearheaded.
 
I have my bad habits. I like to eat all kinds of fast food crap. I will bone the occasional skank. But I do it all clean and sober.
 
There is one drug that I am addicted to, and that is caffeine. I doubt I could do all that I do without plenty of coffee, tea, and coca-cola. Unlike other drugs, caffeine is the one drug that allows you to keep your job and might even get you promoted.
 
But this leads me to the question. Why do people get messed up on drugs and alcohol in the first place? I believe these people want an escape from reality. Being drunk or stoned is a great way to get away from your problems. But like all things, these things cost money which is an inescapable reality for any addict. This is why my cousin is sitting in the Kershaw County Detention Center.
 
I prefer to find my pleasures in things that are real--work, food, pussy. I enjoy my life, and I can't understand those people who hate their lives so much that they try to escape from existence. But eventually, they succeed in the ultimate flight from reality--death. Good riddance, I say.
 
But each year, about 5% of addicts elect to quit. They don't need AA, rehab, or Jesus to do this. Statistics indicate that 12 Step programs have an equal or lower success rate than those who elect to quit on their own. As it stands, you can't help those who don't want to quit, and the ones who decide to quit need no help whatsoever. That's why I have no sympathy for addicts. They choose their self-destructive lifestyles, and they can choose to quit.
 
I reject the right wing solution of the War on Drugs and the left wing solution of "treatment." Leave these addicts to kill themselves or clean up. And for those like my cousin who choose to steal, lock 'em up and make them work to pay restitution.