I really have lost all desire for writing. I have to admit it. I'm making myself write this out of a sense of obligation rather than fun. What has happened to me?
In the past, I would write for the sake of catharsis. I had so many negative emotions inside of me that this blog was my way of getting it out. Now, I just don't have those negative emotions. This doesn't mean that I think things are great in the world. But my perspective on those things has changed so much that I can no longer work up the same levels of anger I used to have. The blog tank is at empty.
Should I quit this gig? This is such a difficult question for me to answer. I don't ever want to go back to being miserable especially for the sake of being a blogger. That advice is about as sensible as when one of my old college writing instructors told me that the secret to good fiction was to get really drunk. I tried it, and I can say he was wrong.
The sad reality of it all is a simple one. I am happy. I don't know how to write from a happy place. This isn't to imply that everything in my life is perfect because it never is perfect. But the way I view things has changed considerably. This is the fruit of becoming Catholic.
The Catholic way is the answer you seek. People turn to blogs like mine for a variety of reasons, but a chief reason seems to be a self-help solution to things. But the problem with self-help is the "self" part. You only find your life when you give it away.
There have been lots of Catholic writers, so there is nothing that pits religion against literary pursuits. My problem is that I have not yet found how to write from this new place. My writing used to meet my needs, but I think I should write to meet the needs of others. I haven't made that leap yet, but I will. I have to find the way to translate the joy I feel to those who read my blog.