Random Thoughts on Various Subjects 13

1. The IDIOT OF THE WEEK award goes to USC quarterback Stephen Garcia for keying a prof's car and other shitheadedness. This guy is turning out to be a real piece of shit, and I have to wonder what is going on in Coach Spurrier's head. At some point as a college or professional football coach, you have to deal with these headcases who combine both talent and stupidity. I don't know what Garcia's future will be, but he needs to get his shit together.

2. I have a bunch of bitemarks in my ass from the ultrarunning crowd, but I stand by my criticisms. I will now expand upon them.

At what point does it become stupid? For instance, why not attempt Badwater while carrying a cinder block? That would be bad ass. Why not include a blindfold? And you can drink nothing but beer and the vomit from other competitors!!

I've become a believer in Aristotle's golden mean. Virtue lies at the midpoint between deficiency and excess. In the case of ultrarunners, they want to get recognition for doing something that is clearly excessive. I don't have a problem with the activities since I believe each to his own. But with ultrarunning, I think it is just stupid much the same way that I think the stunts of magician David Blaine are stupid. As Chris Rock put it, "Where's the magic in that?"

Here is an idea that will seem heretical to many, but these stunts are easy. Yes, that's right. EASY. I believe finishing Badwater is an easy accomplishment. That's because it requires something I can do or can train myself to do which is to survive the 135 mile footrace. I know I can do this. What I am less certain about is finishing a marathon in under 2 hours and 30 minutes. The latter is clearly harder to achieve than the former. I doubt I could ever put up a time like that.

The golden mean is difficult to achieve. Going to extremes is so much easier. It was easier for Andy Warhol to film someone sleeping for 24 hours than it was for Francis Ford Coppola to make The Godfather. Likewise, it is easier to run 100 miles badly than to run 26.2 miles well.

Maybe it is a sign of a larger societal pathology, but I don't see why we celebrate gluttons, drunkards, womanizers, and masochists. In the case of ultrarunners, we have masochism trumping excellence. I can tell you that I know who Dean Karnazes is from his appearance on Letterman, but I couldn't for the life of me tell you who holds the world record for the marathon without having to Google for it.

I think as more and more people accomplish these stunts their novelty will wear off. This has clearly happened with the marathon as even fat housewives show that the distance is no big deal. Karnazes keeps trying to top himself in greater feats of ridiculousness. But hey, it sells books, so I'm rooting for this master of marketing. He's got a good act going, and it shows the power of shameless self-promotion.

3. The FBI has come clean by admitting that they have abused the Patriot Act. Big surprise there.

4. Lately, I've been trying to include information in my daily reading from "hostile" sources. These would be Democrats, Republicans, fascists, commies, environmentalists, feminazis, religious fundamentalists, etc. It is not that I respect their opinions because I don't. Hell, I barely respect these people as human beings. But I think it is helpful to try and understand where people stand on a lot of things if for no other purpose than to be more adept at demolishing their worldviews. As such, I'll waste the time on reading and listening to their blather.

5. PET PEEVE: I hate when a friend or coworker asks me to pick them up something from McDonald's or elsewhere, and it is a "special order" usually involving addition of cheese, vegetables, or condiments. I already know that the fast food fucktards will fuck that order to hell, and that person will look at me like I'm the one that did it. So, I save the receipt and present it at the Post-McDonald's Inquisition as Exhibit A. As it stands, I will no longer take on the responsibility of special orders. Sorry 'bout it. If it gets fucked, that's your problem.

6. Scooter Libby took the fall, and he will likely take a large black cock in the ass from his cellmate before George Bush pardons him. And people wonder why I don't pursue a career in politics.